Because I teach at a community college I am surrounded by high school students eager to start their lives as adults. Isn't it great to be independent? Maybe. At a time when jobs are scarce, there are even less job oportunities for adults with autism. As a parent, I worry about my son being independent. At 18, we thought that we would be helping our son with college applications, but instead I am filling out applications for SSI and legal guardianship. Not exactly a thrill. I teach students how to write a better college application essay; somehow I have compartmentalized that so I can do it without sadness. When people ask me how old my son is, the question is almost always followed by another one: What college is he going to next year? It's okay, I tell myself. Not everyone goes to college. It is ironic that being independent for a person with autism actually requires a stint at the courthouse where that person's rights are limited, if not taken away. Not everyone files for legal guardianship, but in our case I believe it is necessary. Yet, I also feel a sense of relief knowing that we have come this far. If I had to choose between Alex having a college education or being happy, I would pick the latter. Today Alex is happy, and although I am somewhat conflicted between who I am as a mother and teacher, I believe that happiness depends more on where you've been rather than wher you're going.
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